


what i can't control

by troubledsouls



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Age Regression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 02:23:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: josh sucks on his thumb and stares at the door.





	what i can't control

there’s a knock on the door. “twenty minutes until showtime.”

josh sucks on his thumb and stares at the door. he's too deep in his regression to move, but his bigger self hidden in the back of his brain nudges the smaller self in control and gives a message similar to “we need to get changed, and we need to get onstage.”

josh knows that if he gets pulled out now, he’ll regress even farther later, but the thought of cancelling the show makes him anxious. 

he makes himself get big enough to change out of his sweatpants and tank top and into the all black, heavy clothing that he’s been wearing for the era. 

there's a knock on the door. “five minutes. come on out.”

josh's thoughts feel like molasses. 

he grabs the all-black mask and slips out of the dressing room, half-toddling through the halls under he finds tyler. 

“hey.” tyler can tell something's wrong. “can you do the show?”

josh nods slowly, even though he can't really recall the drumbeats he's supposed to play and the melodies he's supposed to sing. 

tyler doesn't seem to believe him, but he doesnt push the issue. he just adjusts his yellow jacket and helps josh get his mask on. 

the beginning of the show, the cheers of the crowd, and the ever-present anxiety of walking onstage almost makes josh regress again. he fights it. the show must go on. 

playing and singing is hard. he forces his voice to not sound small, forces himself to be able to play and sing and not mess up, forces himself to be big. 

tyler can tell. tyler can always tell.

the show feels like forever. josh's only landmarks are when he has to leave his drums, and even then he has to focus on walking normally. 

everything is falling into a fuzziness in josh’s head and ears and eyes. 

finally, finally, they reach trees. josh doesn't know how he’s stayed this big for this long. 

when they bow, josh starts crying. 

tylers immediate concern is obvious to the crowd in the way he cups josh close to himself as they stand up, in the way he murmurs into josh's ear. 

josh can't hear him over the fuzziness and the noise of the crowd. he can only cling to tyler and cry. 

he knows he messed up the show, and that makes him even more upset. 

tyler guides josh offstage, down a set of stairs, and into the arms of someone else. josh can immediately tell it’s jenna by the way she holds him. 

he can just barely hear tyler address the crowd and end the show over his own crying. hes getting too small, smaller than he was before the show. 

someone picks him up and he curls into their chest. 

he's eventually set on something soft. his brain is too fuzzy and eyes too blurry to tell what's going on around him. 

someone slips a pacifier into his mouth, and sucking on it lulls him to sleep.


End file.
